” Male sexuality is not simple. It is not primarily driven by hormones, nor it is intrinsically stronger than that of woman. At their deepest level, most men don’t see women as things, conquests, or simply means to a sexual end. Most men don’t have women but worry about them: they don’t feel superior but often inferior; and they aren’t irresponsible but often feel too responsible. Men may actually have more power than women, but they usually feel as if they have less. They may appear not to need women, b ut are more likely to feel secretly as if their needs are bottomless. The real reason that men sometimes put women down is to avoid feeling put down themselves. The real reason that some men abandon women is to avoid feeling abandoned.
Men themselves rarely understand their own sexuality, a fact that contributes to misconceptions that women have about them. Men are not only less willing in general to be introspective than women, but are also more likely to feel shame about the ways that their sexual preferences are based on emotions deemed weak, or on feelings like guilt, worry, helplessness, and inferiority. Further, men are particularly ashamed of fantasies that appear to violate traditional masculine norms. Such embarrassment contributes to a general fear of self-disclosure in men and leads them to shut down in conversation with women about sexual matters. ”
Dr. Michael Bader – clinical psychologis and psychoanalyst
Being a man is not always an easy task. Society puts so much pressure on men being the provider, the strongest, the best of the best and no mention of man being empathetic or in need of love. Being under so much stress many men tend to bottle up their feelings, get depressed, feel guilty or ashamed, angry and frustrated. Emotional state is often reflected in uncomfortable body sensations. Low energy, tension, fatigue and underperformance are only few of the challenges men need to overcome, most of the time on their own.
In my experience I met so many amazing people with really low self-esteem, and to be honest only because of social believes or pathogenic believes.
During the sessions I try to reconnect them and let them enjoy life again. I don’t judge and I try to understand everyone! Being in a safe environment will help to trust the person you’re with and to open up towards your sexuality and core frustrations! There is nothing to be ashamed of! We all are different and we all have different perception about things. Sometimes a negative view of the self is purely a product of current mood.
Men prefer to have massages because they don’t need to perform, they are the object of desire, are pampered and there is no guilt involved!