Male Sexuality

” Male sexuality is not simple. It is not primarily driven by hormones, nor it is intrinsically stronger than that of woman. At their deepest level, most men don’t see women as things, conquests, or simply means to a sexual end. Most men don’t have women but worry about them: they don’t feel superior but often inferior; and they aren’t irresponsible but often feel too responsible. Men may actually have more power than women, but they usually feel as if they have less. They may appear not to need women, b ut are more likely to feel secretly as if their needs are bottomless. The real reason that men sometimes put women down is to avoid feeling put down themselves. The real reason that some men abandon women is to avoid feeling abandoned.

Men themselves rarely understand their own sexuality, a fact that contributes to misconceptions that women have about them. Men are not only less willing in general to be introspective than women, but are also more likely to feel shame about the ways that their sexual preferences are based on emotions deemed weak, or on feelings like guilt, worry, helplessness, and inferiority. Further, men are particularly ashamed of fantasies that appear to violate traditional masculine norms. Such embarrassment contributes to a general fear of self-disclosure in men and leads them to shut down in conversation with women about sexual matters. ”
Dr. Michael Bader – clinical psychologis and psychoanalyst

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